Blog

Question About Praise

This last month we are having a problem with the "Praise" word with our 13 year old. She's very clever at school and gets amazing grades; she loves school! So the last few tests she's had she's come home and told us the results and my husband and I have both said to her '"Wow, amazing results Zara! You must be so proud and you clearly did the hard work and it's paid off!"

She floored us when she replied, "Why can't you just say you're so proud of me, like all the other normal parents??!"

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FRIEND OR PARENT

I just received an interesting question from a journalist wondering if parents could be both a friend and a disciplinarian. Following is my answer:

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3 ½-year-old Tantrums

Question: I just entered the world of Positive Discipline and I love it. I feel like I can be a really great mother—even more than I already am. I feel challenged with my 3 ½ year old! He is very specific about things. If he gets something in his mind, it must be that way, or he cries, sometimes until he falls asleep (up to an hour of crying)! For example, if I walk off the sidewalk to get somewhere faster, I get a tantrum. If I flush the toilet, not him–tantrum. If I get a spoon for breakfast–tantrum.

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Interrupting

Question: My husband and I came to one of your seminars in February. One subject you didn’t touch was interrupting. Our 4 1/2 year old does it all the time. How can we stop it? It drives my husband and me crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Curiosity Questions Conversational

One of the most important skills that both models mutual respect and allows children to develop their perceptions of personal capability is open-ended questioning. This Positive Discipline Tool, Curiosity Questions, also helps develop “social feeling” because the child feels respectfully included.

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Contribution in the Classroom

by Jane Nelsen and Kelly Gfroerer

Students feel belonging (connection) and significance (capable) when they have opportunities to contribute.

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Teaching Positive Time Out Helps Students Learn Tools for Self-Regulation

Where did we ever get the crazy idea that in order to make children do better, first we have to make them feel worse? —Jane Nelsen

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Helpful Hints For Empowering Vs. Enabling

A friend asked me if Positive Discipline was a program to teach parents to manage their children. I said, "No, it is a program to help parents empower their children to manage themselves."

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Parent-Teacher-Student Conferences

Conferences are respectful when parents, teachers, and students are all included. 

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Toddlers and the Hitting Stage

Question: Hi, I attended your session at the Adlerian Conference in Myrtle Beach. It was really great! I now have a 14-month-old son and recently bought your book Positive Discipline, The First Three Years as he began to really start to show his little personality and I realized wow, I need help! I finished it tonight but still have a question and really wanted your opinion about the issue of hitting. Our son, is a very happy toddler but lately when he gets angry he will hit me and my husband in the face.

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