Parents Q&A

Questions have been answered by Dr. Jane Nelsen and Certified Positive Discipline Trainers. Please use the Blog Search to find specific topics.


 

Five-Year-Old Lying and Constantly in Trouble

Question:

Hi, I have a daughter who just turned 5 and a 20 month old son. My daughter is constantly giving us trouble, at home and at day care. I'll start with "she actually bit someone a few weeks ago at school. I couldn't believe it at her age. Then when I asked her who she bit, she said she didn't bite anyone. So, she is already lying to us, too.

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Exhausted From Raising a Toddler

I have read a lot on your site, looking for some specific solutions for toddlers and I find that even the advice that is supposed to be for toddlers really seems too advanced for my 22-month-old.

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Rebelling

Question:

My wife and I do not know what to do about our daughter's rebelling. She refuses to do anything that we ask her to do. She has been caught drinking, smoking cigarettes, shoplifting, and possibly using drugs.

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Divorce

“I want to get a divorce, but I'm so afraid it will hurt my children.  Should I stay in my marriage for the sake of the children?”

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Dethroned 5-year-old won't let baby nap

Question:

I have a 5-year-old son and three-month-old daughter. My son seems to have adapted fairly well to the new addition but there is one major problem. Every time he sees her napping he will scare her to wake her up. She gets absolutely hysterical, so he gets the reaction that he wants. I do not know what to do. We live in a small 1927 home so the only room that has locks is the bathroom, otherwise, I would just lock her in the room, although, I still think he would find a way to wake her up.

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Choosing Friends

I have one child who complains that she doesn't have any friends. Another child keeps choosing friends I don't like. How do I help my children become friends with children I approve of?

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Question About Praise

This last month we are having a problem with the "Praise" word with our 13 year old. She's very clever at school and gets amazing grades; she loves school! So the last few tests she's had she's come home and told us the results and my husband and I have both said to her '"Wow, amazing results Zara! You must be so proud and you clearly did the hard work and it's paid off!"

She floored us when she replied, "Why can't you just say you're so proud of me, like all the other normal parents??!"

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3 ½-year-old Tantrums

Question: I just entered the world of Positive Discipline and I love it. I feel like I can be a really great mother—even more than I already am. I feel challenged with my 3 ½ year old! He is very specific about things. If he gets something in his mind, it must be that way, or he cries, sometimes until he falls asleep (up to an hour of crying)! For example, if I walk off the sidewalk to get somewhere faster, I get a tantrum. If I flush the toilet, not him–tantrum. If I get a spoon for breakfast–tantrum.

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Interrupting

Question: My husband and I came to one of your seminars in February. One subject you didn’t touch was interrupting. Our 4 1/2 year old does it all the time. How can we stop it? It drives my husband and me crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Toddlers and the Hitting Stage

Question: Hi, I attended your session at the Adlerian Conference in Myrtle Beach. It was really great! I now have a 14-month-old son and recently bought your book Positive Discipline, The First Three Years as he began to really start to show his little personality and I realized wow, I need help! I finished it tonight but still have a question and really wanted your opinion about the issue of hitting. Our son, is a very happy toddler but lately when he gets angry he will hit me and my husband in the face.

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