Blog

Curiosity Questions Conversational

One of the most important skills that both models mutual respect and allows children to develop their perceptions of personal capability is open-ended questioning. This Positive Discipline Tool, Curiosity Questions, also helps develop “social feeling” because the child feels respectfully included.

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CURIOSITY QUESTIONS

Helping children explore the consequences of their choices is much different from imposing consequences on them. Exploring invites the participation of children to think for themselves and figure out the consequences of their choice, to decide what is important to them, and how to achieve what they want. The end result is focusing on solutions to the problem instead of focusing on consequences.

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Contribution in the Classroom

by Jane Nelsen and Kelly Gfroerer

Students feel belonging (connection) and significance (capable) when they have opportunities to contribute.

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ASK FOR HELP

Mothers (and fathers) don’t realize how much they can damage their children’s character when they do too much for them in the name of being a good parent, and in the name of love.

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Positive Time-Out

Imagine you are an employee who has made a mistake, and your boss comes to you and says, “You go to time-out and think about what you have done. And don’t come out until I say you can.” Or, if you are married, imagine your spouse coming to you and saying, “I don’t like your behavior. You are grounded for a week.” In either of these scenario’s what would you be thinking, feeling, and deciding. Is there any chance that you would say, “Oh, thank you so much. This is so helpful. I’m feeling so encouraged and empowered and can hardly wait to do better.” Not likely.

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Teaching Positive Time Out Helps Students Learn Tools for Self-Regulation

Where did we ever get the crazy idea that in order to make children do better, first we have to make them feel worse? —Jane Nelsen

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Helpful Hints For Empowering Vs. Enabling

A friend asked me if Positive Discipline was a program to teach parents to manage their children. I said, "No, it is a program to help parents empower their children to manage themselves."

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Parent-Teacher-Student Conferences

Conferences are respectful when parents, teachers, and students are all included. 

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Four Steps For Winning Cooperation

Adlerian psychology provides a set of basic concepts that offer a wealth of knowledge to help us increase our understanding of children and of ourselves, but it is so much more than just theory. The basic concepts are lost without attitudes of encouragement, understanding, and respect.

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Back Talk

Mrs. Henderson told her son, Jon, for the third time that evening, “You had better do your homework before it gets too late. Jon shot back, “If it is so important to you, why don’t you do it!” Mrs. Henderson was shocked. After all, she was only trying to help. She reacted by saying, “Don’t talk to me that way, young man. I’m your mother.” Jon reacted right back, “Well, don’t talk to me that way. I’m your son.” At this point Mrs. Henderson stepped in and shouted; “Go to your room right now. You are grounded until you can learn to be respectful.” Jon shouted back, “Fine,” as he stomped off to his room and slammed the door.

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