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“I want to get a divorce, but I'm so afraid it will hurt my children.  Should I stay in my marriage for the sake of the children?”

Imagine you are an employee who has made a mistake, and your boss comes to you and says, “You go to time-out and think about what you have done. And don’t come out until I say you can.” Or, if you are married, imagine your spouse coming to you and saying, “I don’t like your behavior. You are grounded for a week.” In either of these scenario’s what would you be thinking, feeling, and deciding. Is there any chance that you would say, “Oh, thank you so much. This is so helpful. I’m feeling so encouraged and empowered and can hardly wait to do better.” Not likely.

Mrs. Henderson told her son, Jon, for the third time that evening, “You had better do your homework before it gets too late." Jon shot back, “If it is so important to you, why don’t you do it!” Mrs. Henderson was shocked. After all, she was only trying to help. She reacted by saying, “Don’t talk to me that way, young man. I’m your mother.” Jon reacted right back, “Well, don’t talk to me that way. I’m your son.”

Diane promised she would never be like her friend, Sara, who was always yelling (often screaming) at her kids, “Don’t do that! Do this! I’m sick and tired or telling you!” On and on! It was difficult for Diane to be around Sara, and she felt so sorry for the kids.