Blog

Break the Code of Misbehavior

When children are misbehaving, they are speaking to adults in code? A misbehaving child is a discouraged child. The primary goal of all children is to feel a sense of belonging and significance. Too often they form a mistaken belief about how to seek belonging and significance—as explained in the Mistaken Goal Chart. Unless adults know how to break the code—children usually experience the opposite of belonging and significance. Click on this link: Mistaken Goal Chart so you can follow along as I explain the code.

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HOW IS POSITIVE DISCIPLINE DIFFERENT?

The majority of discipline models practiced in homes and schools today are based on punishments and rewards. Positive Discipline is based on the Adlerian model of eliminating all punishment and rewards in favor of encouragement that addresses the basic needs of children to belong and feel significant. Our task is to help children find belonging and significance in socially useful ways.

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Role Playing With Students

Role-playing is a fun and engaging way for students to learn and practice important life skills. Evidence-based studies identify the importance of integrated daily practice of social and emotional learning and specifically citing role-plays as an important participatory element.

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Gratitude and Generosity

As the leaves begin to turn vibrant colors and then fall we enter the season of short days and longer nights. It is also, for many of us, a season of holidays and traditions. It can be both exciting and stressful for families. Now, before things start moving really quickly is a time to pause and think about what you might want to remember.

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Closet Listening

Have you ever tried talking with your children only to be frustrated by one word, unenthusiastic, totally bored responses? Many parents become discouraged when they ask their children, “How was your day?” and their children say, “Fine.” Then they ask, “What did you do today?” The response is, “Nothing.” Try closet listening.

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GOAL DISCLOSURE

Goal disclosure can be a powerful tool. When the teacher’s empathy is genuine, the student experiences a connection with the teacher that is deeply caring. Goal disclosure will help you better understand your student, and your student will gain valuable insights about his or her deeper needs and motivations.

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Self Care for Teachers

Taking care of yourself is the best gift you can give your students.

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I Messages

Too often students (and adults) blame others for their feelings by saying, “You make me feel _____.” This is not true. No one can make anyone else feel something. They might invite you to feel something, but you always have a choice. One way to help your students take responsibility for their feelings is by teaching the skill of using “I” messages.

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The Anger Wheel of Choice: Anger is Just a Feeling

When I was growing up, I didn’t know that anger is just a feeling. To me anger meant withdrawal of love. My mother didn’t tell me she was angry. She just wouldn’t speak to me for days. However, she did “speak” loud and clear with the look of disgust and disapproval on her face whenever she looked at me during those days of silence . My childlike mind twisted that to mean that people would stop loving me if I got angry.

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Control Your Behavior for Teachers

Do you sometimes expect your students to control their behavior when you have not controlled your own? We don’t mean to instill guilt; rather, we want to create awareness. We often catch ourselves behaving in ways we aren’t proud of once we have taken time to calm down and assess our actions.

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