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Control Your Behavior

The Positive Discipline Tool Card of "Control Your Behavior" is sometimes easier said than done. Have you ever lost control of your behavior with your children? Listen to the following audio excerpt from Building Self-Esteem Through Positive Discipline as I discuss a time when I completely lost control with my daughter.

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Sibling Fights: Putting Kids in the Same Boat

If you can’t stand to stay out of your children’s fights, and decide to become involved, the most effective way is to put your children in the same boat. Do not take sides or try to decide who is at fault. Chances are you wouldn’t be right, because you never see everything that goes on.

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Pay Attention

All of these Positive Discipline Tool Cards are valuable, but some of them seem to resonate a little bit more with me. When I turned over this "Pay Attention" tool card it had a profound impact on me.

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Greetings

Greeting students personally creates an immediate connection with each student.

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Divorce

“I want to get a divorce, but I'm so afraid it will hurt my children.  Should I stay in my marriage for the sake of the children?”

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CURIOSITY QUESTIONS

Helping children explore the consequences of their choices is much different from imposing consequences on them. Exploring invites the participation of children to think for themselves and figure out the consequences of their choice, to decide what is important to them, and how to achieve what they want. The end result is focusing on solutions to the problem instead of focusing on consequences.

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ASK FOR HELP

Mothers (and fathers) don’t realize how much they can damage their children’s character when they do too much for them in the name of being a good parent, and in the name of love.

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Positive Time-Out

Imagine you are an employee who has made a mistake, and your boss comes to you and says, “You go to time-out and think about what you have done. And don’t come out until I say you can.” Or, if you are married, imagine your spouse coming to you and saying, “I don’t like your behavior. You are grounded for a week.” In either of these scenario’s what would you be thinking, feeling, and deciding. Is there any chance that you would say, “Oh, thank you so much. This is so helpful. I’m feeling so encouraged and empowered and can hardly wait to do better.” Not likely.

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Steps For Winning Cooperation

Adlerian psychology provides a set of basic concepts that offer a wealth of knowledge to help us increase our understanding of children and of ourselves, but it is so much more than just theory. The basic concepts are lost without attitudes of encouragement, understanding, and respect.

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Back Talk

Mrs. Henderson told her son, Jon, for the third time that evening, “You had better do your homework before it gets too late. Jon shot back, “If it is so important to you, why don’t you do it!” Mrs. Henderson was shocked. After all, she was only trying to help. She reacted by saying, “Don’t talk to me that way, young man. I’m your mother.” Jon reacted right back, “Well, don’t talk to me that way. I’m your son.” At this point Mrs. Henderson stepped in and shouted; “Go to your room right now. You are grounded until you can learn to be respectful.” Jon shouted back, “Fine,” as he stomped off to his room and slammed the door.

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