Parents Q&A

Questions have been answered by Dr. Jane Nelsen and Certified Positive Discipline Trainers. Please use the Blog Search to find specific topics.


 

Adaptability and Mood Quality

Help I want her to be happy.

 

Thanks.

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Using Positive Discipline with Two Boys

Question:

I discovered your books about a year ago. I have been trying to implement the positive discipline methods. I love your belief that mistakes are opportunities to learn.

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Humiliation in the classroom

Q. My son (Talen) currently attends a Catholic school. He is in the Kindergarten. He has a very strong personality and wants his way ALL of the time in class and wants to do things in his own time. He gives his teacher a hard time and sometimes gets very angry (arms tightly crossed over his chest, red face, crying). This is the problem: About 3 weeks ago, 4 boys in his class were "acting up" (including my son), and they were all reprimanded in front of the entire class by their teacher.

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How to Approach a Teacher Who Uses Punishment

I am a parent of a 6 yr. old boy in the first grade who has had a few occasions of being reprimanded for talking during class. This happened this past week and his desk was moved away from the other students (along with 3 other class talkers). I felt that this consequence was acceptable and made sense. What happened next is what is unacceptable to me. Later in the afternoon there was a birthday party and the birthday girl's mom brought in cupcakes, chips and drinks for the kids.

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Angry, irritated, tone of voice

Q. My ten-year-old daughter speaks with an angry, irritated, tone of voice most of the time. We have discussed it with her. And she says she does not want to talk to us this way--yet the habit persists. We feel we talk to her with respect.The things we have tried include, discussions in family meetings, and having her try it again, i.e., say it again respectfully. Still very little progress.In fact, it seems to be getting worse. She is an extremely polite, kind spoken, and sweet child to her friends, other parents, teachers, etc.

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Power Struggles with a 3 ½ yr. old

Dear Jane,

Wow, thank you so much for the good advice on how to respond to the name calling.Your approach is very sensible.I have taken the RCB and Developing Capable People classes and have found them to be very enlightening.

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Sexual Acting Out and Behavior

Question:

Recently my 7 ½ year old son had a friend for a sleep-over. While I was downstairs they were lying in the same bed. They kept acting up so bad that finally I separated and made them sleep in separate beds. The friend was very hyper so I lay down with him and talked with him until he calmed down and went to sleep.

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He hit me, so I had to hit him back.

Question:

I have a 2-year-old boy and he is very stubborn. When he is in trouble... I do punish him to sit down but he refuses to sit down. He keeps coming up to me and says sorry, but he is not finished with his punishment. Im confused about spanking my kid. When he tried to touch my typing board and I said No!! He hit me, so I had to hit him back to tell him that hurts me, he continued hitting me. What should I do?? Please send me more information about this situation. Thank you.

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How Can I Get My Child To Stop Hitting?

Question:

I have a son who will be 4 in two weeks and a 13-month-old son. The oldest has been through a series of hitting phases since the spring.

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Messy Rooms

A parent asked for help regarding the power struggle to get her children to clean up their rooms. I shared the following excerpt from Positive Discipline A-Z by Jane Nelsen, Lynn Lott, and H. Stephen Glenn:

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