Parents Q&A

Questions have been answered by Dr. Jane Nelsen and Certified Positive Discipline Trainers. Please use the Blog Search to find specific topics.


 

My 13 year old daughter had a babysitting job last Saturday night.

Question:
My 13 year old daughter had a babysitting job last Saturday night. Sunday evening, the mother of the children phoned to tell me that my daughter had company over, four other friends to be exact, very shortly after the children went to bed and the people left for the evening. This is totally unacceptable, both to my husband and myself, not to mention the family hiring her to babysit. We have decided to ground her for one week and take away her privilege of using her own phone in her room (she can still use the phone in the kitchen—but she would lack privacy). My daughter thinks that we are being totally unreasonable on the punishment although she does realize that she has done wrong. The people have indicated that they will never have her over again to babysit and I don't blame them. What do you think? My husband and I are finding the teen years very difficult and we have only just begun.

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Bedwetting

Question

I have a 4-year-old son (he'll be 5 in 2 weeks) who is having a great deal of trouble staying dry at night. After he was first potty trained at around 3 1/2 he stayed dry at night and would get up by himself and go to the bathroom. About 6 months ago he started to wet the bed. He seems to go through intermittent spells of this. He may stay dry for several nights in a row and then wet the bed every night for a week.Lately the dry spells seem to be getting shorter and shorter. My husband and I try very hard not to make a big deal of this, but my son is very upset about it and it does make it hard for all of us to get a good nights sleep! What's our next step? Should we take him to a urologist? Could anxiety be causing this?

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Spanking Your Child

Question:

I am doing a paper for a class I am in. I was wondering what you think about spanking your child. Do you think it is wrong? If so please specify. Thank you.

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Misbehaving when we have company over

Dear Jane...

Once again I write to you seeking advice. My husband and I are trudging through your "positive disciplne" book. We've recently set up charts and are really trying hard to get the children involved in the problem solving....here's another quest for you...recently we moved to a new town...my son will be starting school in 3 weeks (jr k).

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Rebellion for being Punished

Question:

I am having problems with my 2nd grade son. Recently, he was suspended from riding the bus after hitting another child back after this kid hit him. My son was suspended for 7 days, while the other child received no discipline at all.

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Step Parenting Blues

Dear Jane:

I have some questions on how to deal with my partner's five-year-old son and am hoping you will be able to provide me with some insight. We have been living together for 5 1/2 months and I am having huge difficulty adjusting to his son, being around half-time (he and his ex have joint custody).

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Mean, Disobedient Four-Year-Old

Question:

My daughter is 4.5 and I'm at my wits end. She is such a beautiful child when she wants to be. I just don't know what to do anymore. She's mean to other children. She has no fear of any authority. She is very mouthy to other kids, her preschool teacher, and grandma.

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Strong Willed or Age Appropriate?

Question:

Hopefully you can help me in this situation. I am a mother of two wonderful boys ages 6 1/2 and 4. They are both very head strong and stubborn, not a bad quality for when they get older. My older son is in 1st grade and he is doing well, he knows the work

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Prefers One Parent over Another

My almost 2 year-old son used to take a bath with my husband everyday after dinner. That used to be "their time", and he was always happy to go with him. But a few days ago he started to refuse to go in the bathtub. As soon as I get in the bathroom he agrees to go inside and take a bath. It has been like this for the last week. He just cries like crazy until I come in. I really have no idea how to handle this situation. I am not sure I am doing the right thing getting in the bathroom and bathing him, I feel like he is manipulating me, and my husband is just heartbroken because that was the only thing they do together everyday. Any advice???

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Helping Children Cope with the Death of a Parent

Question:

A friend of mine recently lost his wife and his 8 month to be born daughter. He does not know how to break the bad news to his 3 year old daughter. What do you think will be the best approach???? Any other advice???

Thank you so much for helping me help him... Jorge

Answer:

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