Parents Q&A

This last month we are having a problem with the "Praise" word with our 13 year old. She's very clever at school and gets amazing grades; she loves school! So the last few tests she's had she's come home and told us the results and my husband and I have both said to her '"Wow, amazing results Zara! You must be so proud and you clearly did the hard work and it's paid off!"

She floored us when she replied, "Why can't you just say you're so proud of me, like all the other normal parents??!"

Question: I just entered the world of Positive Discipline and I love it. I feel like I can be a really great mother—even more than I already am. I feel challenged with my 3 ½ year old! He is very specific about things. If he gets something in his mind, it must be that way, or he cries, sometimes until he falls asleep (up to an hour of crying)! For example, if I walk off the sidewalk to get somewhere faster, I get a tantrum. If I flush the toilet, not him–tantrum. If I get a spoon for breakfast–tantrum.

Question: My husband and I came to one of your seminars in February. One subject you didn’t touch was interrupting. Our 4 1/2 year old does it all the time. How can we stop it? It drives my husband and me crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do you have any advice on how to handle discipline while in the car, particularly when siblings fight? As I see it, the options are limited. Time out can't be used. I try to prevent problems by making sure each child has his own entertainment (CDs, books, etc.). Also, I try to remember to have a discussion with the children before we leave as to what behavior is expected. Pulling over to the side of the road sometime helps for a short time, but it's not always practical to be pulling over multiple times and traffic conditions may not allow it. Help!

My daughter is a very active 18-month-old who is also strong-willed. My question is: How do you curb dangerous impulses and teach your child to listen to you when you tell her she can't do something when she is so young?

Question:

I attended your lecture on Positive Discipline held at Mira Costa on the 21st, because I really need help on where to go from here. I have an almost 13 year old boy who is testing his limits (and mine). What would be the best approach for me in the following instances:

Question: I have read your book, Positive Discipline, cover to cover, and have searched your website in the FAQ about morning routine problems but could not find a solution to a certain situation. I have a problem with my 7-year-old daughter that I can't solve, and can't find advice for.

How can I discipline my children without hitting, yelling or any negative attitudes towards them even when they misbehave or don't want to listen to me?

Question:

I would like some feedback regarding the following situation:

My oldest daughter just turned 3 and is in a preschool program 2 days a week for 3 hours a day. There is a teacher and assistant for 12 children. The teacher is very young and this is her second year teaching children of this age group. The assistant is much older and has grown children of her own.

My present concern is regarding a newly instituted reward system. With only 2 1/2 months of school left in this school year the teacher began a reward system that she said would help to get the children to better use their "good listening" skills. Sounds like a last ditch act of desperation to me but then again I am already somewhat biased against "quid pro quo" types of discipline.

Question:

"My child seems to fight a lot with her friends. How can I help her?"