Parents Q&A

Question:

We are at our wits end trying to discipline our 13-yr. old son. He is VERY disrespectful...(the more I do for him - the more he disrespects us). We thought we were disciplining him the "right way" - but no - its not working. He has gone weeks w/o the things he enjoys the most. It doesn't make a difference. HELP!

We live in a society where children are used to being entertained. Television and electronic games are major contributors to this dilemma. Children can passively sit and watch "Sesame Street" or play with a video game and be highly entertained.

Question

My daughter is 4 1/2. This past week or two her behavior has not been very good. She has starting having MAJOR temper tantrums. For example, we will go to get dressed and I will say it is cold today, pick out what pants you want to wear, and she will say NO I want a dress and it will go downhill from there.

Question: "I don't know how to get my child to stop lying. We have tried very hard to teach high moral standards. The more I punish him, the more he lies. I'm really worried."

Question:

Do you have any articles or can you direct me to or any literature that deals specifically with the consequences for the developing child's personality of parents who don't set and/or enforce limits?

I have a son in the 1st Grade. When things don't go his way, he refuses to cooperate. He either becomes a "statue," a "limp rag doll," or becomes defiant in other ways. I have read your book "Positive Discipline" and my husband is in the middle of reading it. I have given him choices as you suggest, and he responds with "neither." Then I'm stumped.

Dear Jane,

I have a question about family meetings. We have just started them at our home and already are pleased and having fun with the results. We have a family of four; my husband, myself and two daughters 7 and 5. My five year old has been reluctant to sit in the entire meeting unless we are talking about something that is important to her (getting a pet snake).

Question:
I have just found your website and am going to go buy one of the positive discipline books tomorrow. My daughter is almost 17months old and is a very good little girl. Our challenge is when we are out and about, shopping or farmers market for example. She wants to run and explore (of course), she runs away and we end up having to chase her, even when we tell her no or stop. I know she is at an exploration stage but I don't know when to discipline versus letting her run around. I guess I just don't know when true discipline should be implemented?

QUESTION:

I run a support group for Day Care Providers in a small city in MA. Some of the members have a concern about the nurturing of one member in particular. She readily admits she spanks her own children (Bible backed) and says she does not hit the daycare children.

Question:

Our seven year-old is very bright, social, and out going. She is very daring and often makes decisions that escalate into more than they started out being. For example, when she's doing something like talking back she doesn't know when to stop she become so over the top frustrated that then she starts getting defiant when she is told to go to her room etc...She has a you can't get me kinda attitude. I'm sure she is just pushing it off or hiding the hurt. How do we help her? I recognize that we all make bad decisions. I'd like to teach her how to recognize the bad decision and apologize etc before she makes it worse.