Blog

Compliments Create a Positive Atmosphere in Homes and Classrooms

Compliments and appreciations bring us closer together. Finding ways to compliment your children can be a very valuable parenting tool. So often we are focused on what our children have done wrong. This week focus on what your children have done right and give them an appropriate compliment. "I appreciate how quickly you get dressed and ready for school." "I notice how kindly you cared for Anna when she felt sad, I bet it helped her feel better." "Thank you for setting the table." You will be amazed how this simple act will change the atmosphere in your home.

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Encouragement vs Praise

Rudolf Dreikurs taught, “A child needs encouragement like a plant needs water.” In other words, encouragement is essential. Children may not die without encouragement, but they certainly wither.

Since encouragement is so essential, it would be good for parents to know what encouragement means and how to do it. Let’s start with the difference between praise and encouragement. It would be helpful to download the file "Differences Between Praise and Encouragement".

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FOCUS ON SOLUTIONS

Many parents and teachers have reported that power struggles are greatly reduced when they focus on solutions. Focusing on solutions creates a very different family and classroom. Your thinking and behavior will change, and so will the thinking and behavior of your children.

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ASK FOR HELP

Mothers (and fathers) don’t realize how much they can damage their children’s character when they do too much for them in the name of being a good parent, and in the name of love.

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Routines

Recently I was asked why children need routine charts when adults don’t need them. I pointed out that many adults create lists to help them keep track of what they want to do during the day, week, or month—and feel such a sense of accomplishment when they get to cross things off their lists. Many create goals and write them down to increase the effectiveness of their resolve. Others carry day planners to keep track of their appointments (and lists and goals).

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Tone of Voice

Have you noticed how terrible it feels to listen to another parent scold a child? Because you are not emotionally involved, you notice the shrinking posture of the child and empathize with the shame and discouragement he or she must be feeling.

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Take Time for Training

Many people are having fun applying the principles from the Positive Discipline Tool Cards. When they share their great examples, I ask for their permission to share with others. Following you will find some helpful and encouraging examples from Katie Clark.

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Gemeinschaftsgefühl

German Gemeinschaftsgefühl, from Gemeinschaft (“community, neighborship”) +‎ Gefühl (“feeling”) (literally) "Community feeling" or "social interest"; used by Adlerian psychologists to describe the state of social connectedness and interest in the well-being of others that characterizes psychological health.

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Spend Special Time

DURING THE TEEN years, when your children spend less and less time with you, it's more important than ever to connect in ways that really count. Unfortunately, there are several conditions that make quality time especially difficult to achieve: busy schedules, teenagers' preference to be with their friends, and time spent lecturing, judging, and punishing.

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Decide What You Will Do For Teachers

There is so much focus in Positive Discipline on getting students involved in solutions, validating their feelings, asking them questions, understanding their behavior, connecting with them, and so on. Do you ever wonder, “What about me?”

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Online Learning

Positive Discipline offers online learning options for parents, teachers, and parent educators. Learn in the comfort of your own home and at your own pace. You have unlimited access to our online streaming programs, so you can watch and re-watch the videos as often as you like.

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