Blog

Teenager Lacking Motivation? Not Really!

Question:

I have a 19 year old son, who was fired from his job and just stopped going to community college twice. He was fired because instead of going to work, he stayed at his friend's birthday party. He spends his days at home in front of the computer, has no responsibilities except to take out the trash, which he does WHEN I ask him too. I just ordered your book on Positive Discipline for Teenagers and am hoping to find some answers because I'm quite concerned about his lack of motivation. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

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Christmas Toys: Overindulgence or an Opportunity for Effective Parenting

Every Christmas, advertising creates a shortage for the latest toy rage. Remember the year it was Furbys? (That was the "good old days, when a popular toy was $29 to $59. Now they cost iPods, xBoxes, iPhones —items that cost hundreds of dollars.) And what do parents do? Anything they can to make sure their little darling is not deprived. They get up at 4:00 a.m. to stand in line at a toy store with a limited supply, or they pay 10 times the retail price to scalpers who advertise on Internet auctions or in local newspapers.

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Cries at Preschool

Hello Jane,

I have a 4.5 year old boy and he refuses to go to school. Actually it's a day-care program that's run by 2 of my best friends so I know it's a safe and loving environment. I enrolled him for 3 afternoons a week to socialize with other children his age and also to prepare him for kindergarten in the fall. He's never had issues with leaving us or being on his own until day-care. I am now attending day-care with him in order to help him feel safe and hopefully make it his decision to stay but this is costly because on top of the cost for school I am paying for a sitter for my other son at home.

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Son Prefers Cookies

Hi Jane,

My son has decided that he really likes cookies and prefers them over a lot of other foods. We often serve him his normal, healthy food and tell him that if he finishes it or eats a few more bites, he can have a cookie. The power struggle between us and him is getting more difficult and time consuming. It is frustrating because it is hard to communicate to a child why he should eat food that doesn't taste as good as cookies, I can definitely understand his view!

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Goal Setting with Children

The following is an article I wrote for the Activity/Resource book that is part of the Five CD Positive Discipline Workshop: How to Become the Parent You Always Wanted to Be While Helping Empowering Your Children to Feel Capable, Confident, and Competent. It is long, and contains lots of helpful information.

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Workshop Results

Success Letter from Workshop Participant

Hi Jane,

As far as I am concerned, the workshop is far from over! I've been reading all my books, Understanding Serenity, Positive Discipline for Teenagers, Positive Discipline A to Z, the main Positive Discipline Book.—as well as listening to your CDS. Your philosophy on living and parenting, your principles about living and parenting—your way of living in general—give me more hope than anything else I have ever come across. I am truly inspired, and am already incorporating many of the tools—family meetings, remembering that mistakes are opportunities to learn, asking what and how curiosity questions, looking for solutions instead of blame, sharing encouraging messages (I have faith in you, is my fav.) and always getting the message of love across.

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Grandson Crying at Preschool

Dear Jane,

Please help me to help my grandson! He is only 26 months old and his parents decided to take him to a nursery although I personally think that he is not ready yet to deal with this experience, the way that is usually given to all children by the nurseries here in Cyprus.

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Taming Temper Tantrums

My guest for the latest Positive Discipline Radio podcast, “Focusing on Solutions,” was Aisha Pope, and LCSW from San Diego with Families Forward-East where she teaches Positive Discipline Parenting classes. She shared two wonderful success stories, followed by some comments from me.

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Toddler Demands Constant Attention

Question:

I have just ordered Positive Discipline for Preschoolers and Positive Discipline the First Three Years but while I wait for the books to arrive I could really use some advice. I am a single mother of a 16-month-old girl. Her father has her occasionally but I am with her more or less 24/7 and sometimes I get really stressed out. My main problem is that she wants my attention all the time and if I don't give it to her she starts to cry and cry until I do something about it. I don't seem to have 1 second to myself and sometimes I get really frustrated.

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When Children Lie

When I first read the following question, I felt so upset about how this mother treated her child. Unfortunately, my upset was followed by remembering times I got into my fear and treated my children very disrespectfully. Isn’t it a wonder that children survive with any feelings of self worth at all???? Hopefully, our messages of love will always be stronger that the craziness we engage in when we come from fear. You’ll get an idea what I mean by reading the following Q & A.

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