Blog

Communicate with Kids about Drugs

This will be a very long blog, because it includes a huge portion of Chapter Eight from the book, Positive Discipline for Parenting in Recovery by Jane Nelsen, Riki Intner, and Jane Nelsen. Since we just did a podcast on this book, I thought you might find it helpful to have this section on talking with kids about drugs—whether or not you are in recovery.

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Don’t Backtalk Back

Question:

Help! Jane I REALLY need your help. My 4-year-old daughter will not stop saying UGLY and I mean Ugly things to me when she does not get what she wants or when she does not get her way. I have recently purchased your book Positive Discipline and your CDs. Maybe I have not read far enough on what I am to do. I can not tell you how much I love your advice so far, But I feel so out of control and it is really upsetting. If you have any words of wisdom for me I would REALLY appreciate it. Thank you so much for all that you do to help parents like me.

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When Children Hit

Question: Hello. I have two of your books - A to Z and PD for Preschoolers and neither quite addresses our issue. On the topic of hitting you say: When your preschooler hits you, decide what you will do instead of trying to control your child. Let her know that every time she hits you, you will leave the room until she is ready to treat you respectfully. After you have told her this once, follow through without any words. Leave immediately. The thing is, if I try to do this, my son chases me (and his dad) out of the room, hitting all the while. I cannot leave without him hot on my heels. If I remove him (pick him up), he is kicking and screaming and will only stay somewhere if I lock him in. How do I approach this? Thank you for your time. Caroline

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Logical Consequences and Avoiding Morning Hassles

Question:
I am the step-mom of two active boys. One who is 6 and one who is 9. After I moved in a year ago, their father and I have been using your positive approach to raising our kids. Some days we are good at it and some days we have to go back to the books. I have two questions. You are always talking about appropriate consequences. Can you give a novice some specific examples for what appropriate consequences are? What can you do when your 6 (then 5 year old ) Kindergartner, who was never in day care, won't speed up in the morning and is in danger of missing the bus?

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Hitting and Spanking

The most rewarding part of my work is hearing from people who have found it so encouraging in their lives.

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Bullying Siblings

Question:

I have 3 boys. The oldest is 12, the middle 11 and youngest 7. The middle child has ADHD. My oldest son is a bully to the middle child. My question is how do I handle my sons when they are bickering in front of their friends outside? For instance, my oldest son and friends wanted to play soccer and the middle one said, “I don't want to play,” and the oldest makes fun of him for not wanting to play the game and the neighborhood kids make fun also. This is an every other day occurrence. Thanks for your help in advance

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H. Stephen Glenn

H. Stephen Glenn was a brilliant, charismatic person who was dedicated to Developing Capable Young People by helping adults become more capable in their skills for working with children. At the end of this post, you’ll find a link to listen to a sample from one of his CDs.

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I Was Punished, and I Turned Out

How fine is “fine”? Fine is relative. Yes, most of us turned out just “fine.” We can laugh at some of the punishments we received as a child—and even say we deserved them. However, if we had been allowed to learn from our mistakes instead of being made to pay for them, is it possible we might be even better than “fine”?

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Rude and Defiant

Question:

My name is Vicky and I am a mother of an 11-year-old going on 12 son. This has been the most trying year I have had with him. He is rude when speaking to others, swears, defiant, disruptive, and argumentative, and lies. He has escalated this year to the point that last night he was kicked out of our Tae Kwon Do academy until he can rationalize his behaviours to our Master. I am in the midst of reading Positive Discipline and do believe that it works, at the same time I am struggling with thinking up consequences for these types of behaviour that are both kind and firm.

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A Positive Discipline School in Portland, OR

I just returned from doing a teacher in-service at Emerson School in Portland, OR and my heart is full. This school is a wonderful place to be. Read about their philosophy and their physical setting and you will know why. The teachers are so loving and competent—and they love Positive Discipline.

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