Blog

When is a Child Old Enough to Choose?

Question:

Hi Dr. Nelsen,We seem to be having morning issues with my three-year-old daughter. She wanted to wear a dress this morning even though it was a little chilly out. My husband put pants and a shirt on her and she was practically convulsing on the floor in anger. Do you think a three year old should be able to choose her clothes for the day? Thanks for any help that you can offer.

Read More

Lazy Child or Normal Child?

Dear Jane,

I am an American living in Germany and have been buying your books. They are great books with wonderful ideas, and I have had some success using the suggestions. Unfortunately real life cannot be completely covered in a book, and so I have a question. I have browsed through the previous questions but have not found anything to help.

Read More

When are Children Old Enough to Participate in Family Meetings?

Question:
Jane - How old do you suggest children be to start family meetings? My boys are 3 1/2 and 5 years old. I'd like to start family meetings to discuss issues that need to be addressed and get the boys involved, but I'm thinking they may be too young. Thanks.

Read More

Aggression and TV—or NOT

This letter was written in response to a teacher of young children who was concerned and a little upset about little boys coming to preschool and playing Power Rangers and other kinds of "aggressive" games.

Read More

Kicking the Pacifier Habit

Question: Maybe a mistake I made. Now what to do? For about four months before my son’s 3rd birthday we had been talking with him about not using a passy after he turned 3-years-old. I was telling him that they were for babies that did not have any teeth.

Read More

You Can’t Give Your Children Self-Esteem

Many parents say, “I want to give my children self-esteem.” However, you can’t “give” self-esteem to any one. Self-esteem is personally developed from within. Even that is not entirely true. Have you ever noticed how fleeting is self-esteem? One minute you feel really great about yourself. Then someone criticizes you or you make a mistake and criticize yourself. Suddenly your self-esteem is in the pits.

Read More

My son keeps saying I don’t love him

Question:

I recently bought the Positive Discipline A-Z book I have enjoyed reading it and learning from it. Recently my 5 year-old-son has not stopped saying, "You don't love me." What is it that is making him feel that way, or what can I improve on to make him feel different? I have tried in every possible way to make him feel love. Please help

Read More

Child Won’t Eat Without Being Nagged

Question:

We have a family dinner time, in which we are supposed to sit down together and eat and talk and share our day. My 4-year-old does not eat with out being nagged at and/or fed. He plays around until my husband gets upset and we both end up telling him over and over and over to eat, then I usually shovel a few bites in his mouth, with his resistance, and I call it good.

Read More

Serenity: Simple Steps for Recovering Peace of Mind, Real Happiness, and Great Relations

Many of you know me as the author and co-author of the Positive Discipline series, but you may not know that my favorite book that I have written is the newly released "Serenity."

Read More

MORNING POWER STRUGGLES AGAIN

Hi Jane,

We’ve emailed before, and I have implemented many of your techniques, although I seem to forget them at times and at those times, things usually go south quickly. This morning, for instance, I told my 3 1/2 year old that if she could not be responsible and act like a big girl by brushing her teeth, she would not be able to participate in soccer today, which is the first day of many over the coming weeks. She refused to brush her teeth, crossed her arms and said “no!”

Read More