Blog

Empowering Vs. Enabling

We have become vividly aware of how skilled most of us are in using enabling responses with our children, and how unskilled we are in using empowering responses. Our definition of enabling is, ʺGetting between young people and life experiences to minimize the consequences of their choices.ʺ

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Bus Behavior

Problems on the bus seem to be a major concern kindergarten through high school. Look at the behavior on any bus, anywhere in the world, and you will have a barometer of the development of (or lack of) internalized social skills, life skills, and social interest.

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Listen

When parents say, “My child doesn’t listen,” what they really mean is that my child doesn’t obey.” Parents give orders and children resist orders—just as their parent most likely would. If you are experiencing power-struggles with your children, take a look at your part in creating the power-struggle.

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Setting Limits With Children

Question:

Do you have any articles or can you direct me to or any literature that deals specifically with the consequences for the developing child's personality of parents who don't set and/or enforce limits?

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Refuses to Cooperate

I have a son in the 1st Grade. When things don't go his way, he refuses to cooperate. He either becomes a "statue," a "limp rag doll," or becomes defiant in other ways. I have read your book "Positive Discipline" and my husband is in the middle of reading it. I have given him choices as you suggest, and he responds with "neither." Then I'm stumped.

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Positive Effects of Class Meetings

I had one of those this-is-what-makes-it-all-worthwhile events this morning. Yesterday, I did one of my "classroom visits" (a.k.a., teacher observation) and during part of the class a student was invited to the overhead projector to demonstrate how to solve a problem to the rest of the class (third grade). But as he tried to explain how to do the problem, he got all confused and stuck and couldn't work his way through it.

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LOOKING FOR SOLUTIONS IN THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE

I had a "Positive Discipline Moment" today. One of our eighth grade teachers came to me with a student problem. It seems that Jennifer, the student, brought some kind of technological wizardry into Spanish class, some kind of computerized note pad that also has the capability of altering TV channels and sound, like a remote control.

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Planting Seeds of Change Through Positive Discipline

In our mobile society it is not uncommon for some families to relocate several times in a child's school career. This was true for Jimmy who moved to our school from a West Coast inner-city school.

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Family Meetings

Dear Jane,

I have a question about family meetings. We have just started them at our home and already are pleased and having fun with the results. We have a family of four; my husband, myself and two daughters 7 and 5. My five year old has been reluctant to sit in the entire meeting unless we are talking about something that is important to her (getting a pet snake).

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Child Runs and Explores While Shopping

Question:
I have just found your website and am going to go buy one of the positive discipline books tomorrow. My daughter is almost 17months old and is a very good little girl. Our challenge is when we are out and about, shopping or farmers market for example. She wants to run and explore (of course), she runs away and we end up having to chase her, even when we tell her no or stop. I know she is at an exploration stage but I don't know when to discipline versus letting her run around. I guess I just don't know when true discipline should be implemented?

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