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Child Discipline: To Punish or Not

What do you think of when you hear the word “discipline”? Most people think of punishment. I invite you to think a little deeper starting with the exploration of the long-term results of punishment.

You hear a lot of talk these days about boundaries. Oprah talks about setting healthy boundaries. Parenting books explain how to set boundaries. Parents everywhere understand the need for rules. So what, precisely, is it that makes discipline so frustrating? The way I see it, it isn't setting the rules and boundaries that's the problem for most parents: it's following through.

Question:

I am looking for some concrete practical tips for dealing with bullying behavior in a school setting. How can I work to change the bully's behavior? How can I help the victim avoid any further victimization?

Question: Bedtime at our house has become an absolute nightmare! My 6-year-old daughter will not go to sleep unless I stay in the room. I have tried to wean her off this dependency by leaving the room for short periods of time, but this causes her to deliberately try to stay awake waiting for me to return.

Reward System in Preschool

Question:

I would like some feedback regarding the following situation:

My oldest daughter just turned 3 and is in a preschool program 2 days a week for 3 hours a day. There is a teacher and assistant for 12 children. The teacher is very young and this is her second year teaching children of this age group. The assistant is much older and has grown children of her own.

My present concern is regarding a newly instituted reward system. With only 2 1/2 months of school left in this school year the teacher began a reward system that she said would help to get the children to better use their "good listening" skills. Sounds like a last ditch act of desperation to me but then again I am already somewhat biased against "quid pro quo" types of discipline.

Where did we ever get the crazy idea that the way to make a child "do" better is to first make him or her "feel worse"? That is the premise of punishment; and it is truly crazy. Think of the last time you felt scolded and humiliated by another adult. Were you thinking, "This is so helpful. I really appreciate it. I will now do so much better, and I can hardly wait to consult you will all my problems." Unlikely. The truth is that children (and adults) do better when they feel better.

Class Meetings

Class meetings invite students to learn by doing. They provide the practice arena for all of the skills necessary to grow citizens who are responsible, respectful and resourceful members of the community.

The Positive Discipline vision is about schools where children never experience humiliation when they fail but instead feel empowered by the opportunity to learn from their mistakes in a safe environment. Many of the social and emotional skills students learn are represented in the Significant Seven Perceptions and Skills.

If you are a teacher, have you been teaching long enough to remember when children sat in neat rows and obediently did what they were told? If you are a parent, do you remember when children wouldn’t dare talk back to their parents? If you don’t, perhaps your grandparents do.

Child Fighting With Friends

Question:

"My child seems to fight a lot with her friends. How can I help her?"

Nap Time Battles

I am desperate to teach my 5 1/2 month old son to nap during the day. He sleeps fairly well through the night (usually sleeping about six hours, waking up for a feed, then sleeping another four or five hours), but during the day he will NOT nap.

Child Discipline: To Punish or Not

Follow Through

Dealing with bullying behavior in a school setting

Overcoming Bedtime Hassles

Reward System in Preschool

A Misbehaving Child is a Discouraged Child

Class Meetings

Parenting - The Positive Approach

Child Fighting With Friends

Nap Time Battles

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