Parents

Question:

Have you ever “lost it” with you kids? My guess is that most people will answer, “Yes,” to this question. The next question is, “Then what did you do?”. Did you feel guilty and beat up on yourself. Or did you rejoice because you just provided your children with a model of learning from mistakes? A primary theme of Positive Discipline is that “Mistakes are Wonderful Opportunities to Learn”. This is true for adults as well as children.

There are many reasons why teens lack motivation to do what parents want them to do. (You'll notice they don't lack motivation to do what they want to do — talk on the phone, skateboard, shop, party, etc.)

A week ago you received the article on the Positive Discipline Tool Card on Take Time for Training that was written mostly by Katie Clark. Katie added the Routines tool and experienced a breakdown. She handled it very well, even though she didn't know she was handling it well. See why.

I was watching some videos by Bob Bradbury the other day. They are very informative and inspiring. Bob tells a story about a father who tried the "I need a hug" suggestion. His small son was having a temper tantrum. The father got down on one knee and shouted, "I need a hug." His son asked through his sobs, "What?" The father shouted again, "I need a hug." His son asked incredulously, "Now?!?" The father said, "Yes, now." The son said, "Okay," and begrudgingly and stiffly gave his father a hug. Soon the stiffness disappeared and they melted into each others arms. After a few moments the father said, "Thanks, I needed that." His son said, with a small tremor on his lips, "So did I."

In all of our books we talk about "Positive Time Out." There are several points that need to be made regarding time out for children who have not yet reached the age of reason.

Question:

Any suggestions for weaning a toddler?

My first child is now 2 and 1/2. If I'm around (and I am for the most part) she breastfeeds to sleep, and wants to breastfeed during the day (which we've mostly stopped.) She can fall asleep on her own-as she does at "school" 2 days a week.

Every human being is born with the potential to become the world's most capable creature, not with the capabilities themselves. Unlike the amoeba, which is capable of functioning at its full potential from creation, humans acquire their capabilities primarily through apprenticeship: young human beings learn from those who have preceded them. When this apprenticeship is adequate, their toolboxes of life, which were empty at birth, are filled with the essential tools for effective living. In times of change, these tools, which we call life resources, are particularly critical.

Are you trying to gain control over children or with children? Trying to gain control over children is hard. It takes constant effort. You have to be very vigilant to police the action of children so you can implement your control tactics—usually punishment and rewards. You have to catch children being “good” so you can reward them and catch them being “bad” so you can mete out the punishment. It never ends—and what happens when you are not around? If you are very good at being in control over children what have they learned? Have they learned self-discipline, respect for self and others, responsibility, problem-solving skills, cooperation?

Lynn Lott and I have been overwhelmed (in a good way), and excited about the spread of our Teaching Parenting the Positive Discipline Way DVD Training. It has now been purchased in 50 countries.

We were delighted to receive these photos from a group of women in Egypt practicing the experiential activities to receive their certificate as Certified Positive Discipline Parent Educators.