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Children DO Better When They FEEL Better

Where did we ever get the crazy idea that to make children do better, first we have to make them feel worse?

Think of the last time you felt humiliated or treated unfairly. Did you feel like cooperating or doing better?

When teachers take even just a few minutes to greet students as they come in the door, show concern for students’ problems, or take time for a little one-on-one instruction, the results can be profound.

We have heard students say that it doesn't do any good to talk because adults don't listen—they just lecture? Could this be true? And if so, why? We will make some guesses.

"You have to reach the heart before you can reach the head." I first heard this statement while reading an article about Carter Bayton in a September, 1991 issue of Life Magazine. Carter Bayton was asked to work with thirteen 2nd grade boys who were considered so disruptive that they couldn't make in it a "regular" classroom. After six months of working with these boys they were doing so well that they challenged the "regular" class to a math contest and won. Carter found many ways to be effective with his students, but said the foundation was to reach their hearts before he could reach their minds.

So, what is the difference between encouragement and praise? Praise teaches dependency on external feedback (I'm “okay” if you like what I do, and I feel badly if you don't like what I do), while encouragement teaches internal validation, (I use self-evaluation to determine how I feel about what I do).

Remember this point so that you won’t become discouraged. Children quite often don’t trust that adults are really willing to listen to them and take them seriously. It may take some time for them to get used to this. At first they may try to use this new power to be hurtful and punishing, because this is the model they have been used to.

Avoid lecturing and nagging. Use one word as a kind reminder.

Many difficult problems seem easier to solve when choices are presented as solutions. As the teacher, you can help your students succeed by offering an appropriate choice between at least two acceptable solutions. The key words here are appropriate and acceptable.

Role-playing is a fun and engaging way for students to learn and practice important life skills. Evidence-based studies identify the importance of integrated daily practice of social and emotional learning and specifically citing role-plays as an important participatory element.

Gratitude and Generosity

As the leaves begin to turn vibrant colors and then fall we enter the season of short days and longer nights. It is also, for many of us, a season of holidays and traditions. It can be both exciting and stressful for families. Now, before things start moving really quickly is a time to pause and think about what you might want to remember.

Children DO Better When They FEEL Better

Schedule Special Time With Your Students

Listening Skills for Teachers

The Importance of Connection

Encouragement vs Praise for Teachers

Things Often Get Worse Before They Get Better

One Word

Limited Choices Teacher Tool

Role Playing With Students

Gratitude and Generosity

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