Question Answered Via the Positive Discipline Podcast.
I have answered some questions via Podcasts. Please let me know if you are willing to have your question answered this way. I can’t promise to get to all of them, but will certainly try. (So many wonderful opportunities, and not enough time.) Also let me know if I can use your first name.
Question:
I am the step-mom of two active boys. One who is 6 and one who is 9. After I moved in a year ago, their father and I have been using your positive approach to raising our kids. Some days we are good at it and some days we have to go back to the books. I have two questions. You are always talking about appropriate consequences. Can you give a novice some specific examples for what appropriate consequences are? What can you do when your 6 (then 5 year old ) Kindergartner, who was never in day care, won't speed up in the morning and is in danger of missing the bus?
My second question is a bit more complicated. It involves their mom. We have sole custody of the kids but she get visitation privileges every other weekend. There is no disciple when the kids are with her. They stay up as late as they want, eat nothing nutritious, talk back to her, fight with each other (All things they do not do when they are with us). Talking to her is not an option, so we do the best we can when the kids are with us. But sometimes is takes a full week to get the kids back to the routine after being with her. That we can kind of handle, but now summer break is here and they are going to be with her for 6 weeks total. (Off and on, we arranged it so the kids are not with her the full 6 weeks at one time.) So the question becomes, how do we keep positive discipline and all the things we have learned together going when they are in such completely different environments?
Answer:
Many of you may have read the article on No More Logical Consequences—At Least Hardly Ever. All of the Positive Discipline books now emphasize the importance of focusing on solutions. I’m still trying to get the word out. You may find the following Podcast answer helpful.
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