As you may remember, I had a situation with my older daughter (3 yrs old) taking toys away from our littler one (1 1/2 years). My new behavior was to try hugging the older one when she was being a bully. SO, something came up today that I really wanted to share:
I was past my patience level and almost yelling at Eden (3) to go sit on the couch, rather than staying underfoot as I was loading the dryer and hassling her little sister for some reason or another. She was also crying and possibly about to tantrum. I stopped and just hugged her, as we discussed. It was PERFECT! She stopped crying & whining. And then SHE suggested we hug the little one. I didn't have to do anything else.
Another quick story: Eden was in full tantrum on a different occasion and I thought back to our exercise of asking for a hug. That worked, too! It totally diffused the situation and she calmed down.
Also, I taught my daughter to say, "I need attention" when she just needs a hug or for me to stop doing whatever I am doing. It works so well and is so much better than my getting annoyed and not noticing that she needs me to stop and pay her more attention.
I feel like I am finally on my way to really helping my babies feel understood. Thank you for all you do Jane!!