The following is an excerpt from the book, Positive Discipline for Teenagers by Jane Nelsen and Lynn Lott. You know you have a teenager when you hear yourself complaining, “She has no purpose. He won‘t help. She only cares about her friends. He is so self-centered. Her room is a mess. I can‘t trust him. […]
Category Archives: Parents
What Do You Want For Your Children?
An activity from The Positive Discipline Workbook by Jane Nelsen Click Here to Download a PDF Version of this activity. When embarking upon the journey into Positive Discipline, it helps to have a destination in mind, and a road map to help you get there. Creating a list of characteristics and life skills […]
I love you, AND the answer is, “No.”
by Dr. Jane Nelsen Rudolf Dreikurs taught the importance of being both Kind and Firm in our relations with children. Kindness is important in order to show respect for the child. Firmness is important in order to show respect for ourselves and for the needs of the situation. Authoritarian methods usually lack kindness. Permissive […]
18 WAYS TO AVOID POWER STRUGGLES
power-struggle.png by Jane Nelsen Power struggles create distance and hostility instead of closeness and trust. Distance and hostility create resentment, resistance, rebellion (or compliance with lowered self-esteem). Closeness and trust create a safe learning environment. You have a positive influence only in an atmosphere of closeness and trust where there is no fear of […]
2018 in Review
jane-header.jpg I am excited (and a bit overwhelmed) with all of the progress we made in 2018, and the many projects we have planned for 2019. I’ll be turning 82 this year and I am more energetic than ever about Positive Discipline! The growth of Positive Discipline around the world is awe inspiring to […]
CURIOSITY QUESTIONS
by Dr. Jane Nelsen curiosity-questions-motivational-parents.jpg Helping children explore the consequences of their choices is much different from imposing consequences on them. Exploring invites the participation of children to think for themselves and figure out the consequences of their choice, to decide what is important to them, and how to achieve what they want. The […]
Positive Time-Out
by Dr. Jane Nelsen positive-time-out-parents.jpg Imagine you are an employee who has made a mistake, and your boss comes to you and says, “You go to time-out and think about what you have done. And don’t come out until I say you can.” Or, if you are married, imagine your spouse coming to you and […]
The Importance of Connection
by Dr. Jane Nelsen “You have to reach the heart before you can reach the head.” I first heard this statement while reading an article about Carter Bayton in a September, 1991 issue of Life Magazine. Carter Bayton was asked to work with thirteen 2nd grade boys who were considered so disruptive that they couldn’t […]
Things Often Get Worse Before They Get Better
crayons-on-wall.jpg by Dr. Jane Nelsen Remember this point so that you won’t become discouraged. Children quite often don’t trust that adults are really willing to listen to them and take them seriously. It may take some time for them to get used to this. At first they may try to use this new power […]
One Word
one-word.jpg Avoid lecturing and nagging. Use one word as a kind reminder. For the towel left on the floor: “Towel” When the dog has not been fed: “Dog” For the dishes in the sink: “Dishes” When it is time for the bedtime routine: “Bedtime” When agreements are made together in advance, one word is often […]