by Dr. Jane Nelsen
“One more game.”
Jane Nelsen remembers saying those words to herself while playing Hearts on her computer late one night. She knew she should go to bed, but she kept thinking, Just one more game.
The next morning she deleted the game.
That experience led Jane to a realization long before smartphones and social media became part of everyday family life: technology is designed to keep our attention.
Today, parents face that challenge on a much larger scale.
Children aren’t just growing up with technology—they’re growing up immersed in it. The question isn’t whether screens are good or bad. The real question is:
How do we help children develop self-control, responsibility, and healthy relationships in a world filled with digital distractions?
Positive Discipline offers a different answer than rewards, punishments, or endless power struggles.
Instead of constantly asking, “How do I get my child to turn it off?”, ask a different question:
“What skills do I want my child to develop for a lifetime?”
Children need to learn how to manage disappointment, solve problems, keep agreements, and regulate themselves. Those are life skills—not screen-time skills.
Here are three Positive Discipline ideas that can make a remarkable difference:
Model the habits you hope to see.
Children notice far more than they listen. If we expect them to put their phones away during family time while we’re checking notifications every few minutes, our actions speak louder than our words.
Create agreements instead of constant battles.
Children are much more likely to cooperate when they help create clear expectations. A family conversation about technology is often more effective than another lecture about technology.
Have faith in your child’s capability.
When screens are turned off, children may complain, become bored, or feel frustrated. Those moments aren’t failures—they’re opportunities. When we resist the urge to rescue or entertain them immediately, children begin discovering creativity, resilience, and confidence that no screen can provide.
Technology will continue to change.
The needs of children never will.
They still need connection, encouragement, belonging, meaningful contribution, and opportunities to solve real problems.
Those are the qualities that help children thrive—not only online, but throughout life.
The completely revised Second Edition of Positive Discipline includes an all-new chapter on navigating technology, social media, and screen time with kindness, firmness, and respect—without constant conflict.
Pre-order your copy today and discover practical tools for raising capable, confident children in a digital world.
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