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The Wheel of Choice

wheel-of-choice-parents.jpg   Focusing on solutions is a primary theme of Positive Discipline, and kids are great at focusing on solutions when they are taught the skills and are allowed to practice them. The wheel of choice provides a fun and exciting way to involve kids in learning and practicing problem-solving skills, especially when they are […]


FOCUS ON SOLUTIONS

focus-on-solutions.jpg Many parents and teachers have reported that power struggles are greatly reduced when they focus on solutions. Focusing on solutions creates a very different family and classroom. Your thinking and behavior will change, and so will the thinking and behavior of your children. The theme for focusing on solutions is: What is the problem and what […]


Agreements – A Positive Discipline Tool Card

agreements-parents-web.jpg   Why don’t children keep their agreements? Could it be that sometimes parents and teachers say, “This is what we are going to do. Do you agree?” When the question is asked in an authoritarian manner that doesn’t leave room for discussion, children often shrug in agreement, which really means, “Sure, I’ll agree to […]


NATURAL CONSEQUENCES

natural-consequences-tool-card.jpg by Dr. Jane Nelsen   A Positive Discipline Parenting Tool Card A natural consequence is anything that happens naturally, with no adult interference. When you stand in the rain, you get wet. When you don’t eat, you get hungry. When you forget your coat, you get cold. No piggy backing allowed. Adults piggy back […]


Break the Code of Misbehavior

by Jane Nelsen break-the-code-parents-web.jpg When children are misbehaving, they are speaking to adults in code. A misbehaving child is a discouraged child.  The primary goal of all children is to feel a sense of belonging and significance. Too often they form a mistaken belief about how to seek belonging and significance—as explained in the Mistaken Goal […]


A History of Positive Discipline

jane-1980s.jpg by Dr. Jane Nelsen   Positive Discipline is based on the philosophy and teachings of Alfred Adler and Rudolph Dreikurs. I was not privileged to study under either of these great men, but I would like to acknowledge the people who introduced me to the Adlerian approach. It has changed my life and greatly […]


Gemeinschaftsgefühl

A Message from Dr. Jane Nelsen   German Gemeinschaftsgefühl, from Gemeinschaft (“community, neighborship”) +‎ Gefühl (“feeling”) (literally) “Community feeling” or “social interest”; used by Adlerian psychologists to describe the state of social connectedness and interest in the well-being of others that characterizes psychological health. During this challenging time, I would like to share what I learned from our Chinese friends. The government […]


Decide What You Will Do For Teachers

Excerpt from Positive Discipline Tools for Teachers by Dr. Jane Nelsen and Dr. Kelly Gfroerer b132.jpg Decide what you will do, not what you will try to make students do. It is usually most effective to get students involved in decisions. However, sometimes it is appropriate to decide what you will do. Examples: “I will post […]


Connecting With the World

Connection is a key concept of Positive Discipline, and 2019 was all about connecting with people around the world who are creating respectful relationships in homes and schools. Read the stories below about some of our highlights this past year. medellin-social.jpg Positive Discipline in Medellín, Colombia On October 19th, during Jane Nelsen´s visit to Medellín, […]


No More Logical Consequences (at least hardly ever) Focus On Solutions

by Dr. Jane Nelsen During a class meeting, students in a fifth grade class were asked to brainstorm logical consequences for two students who didn’t hear the recess bell and were late for class. Following is their list of “consequences:” Make them write their names on the board. Make them stay after school that many […]