power-struggle.png by Jane Nelsen Power struggles create distance and hostility instead of closeness and trust. Distance and hostility create resentment, resistance, rebellion (or compliance with lowered self-esteem). Closeness and trust create a safe learning environment. You have a positive influence only in an atmosphere of closeness and trust where there is no fear of blame, […]
Articles
Exhausted From Raising a Toddler
crayons-on-wall.jpg Question: I have read a lot on your site, looking for some specific solutions for toddlers and I find that even the advice that is supposed to be for toddlers really seems too advanced for my 22-month-old. Let me tell you what my problem is…my 22-month-old has been having a lot of outbursts that […]
Rebelling
Question: rebellious-teen-02.jpg My wife and I do not know what to do about our daughter’s rebelling. She refuses to do anything that we ask her to do. She has been caught drinking, smoking cigarettes, shoplifting, and possibly using drugs. We do not want to drive her away, but we feel very strongly about these issues. […]
Have Faith in Students
by Dr. Jane Nelsen and Dr. Kelly Gfroerer, from their book Positive Discipline Tools for Teachers. have-faith-teacher-cartoon.jpg What does it mean to have faith in students? It doesn’t mean abandoning students to figure out everything for themselves. It means having more faith in how much they can handle, even if it means they have […]
Greetings
by Dr. Kelly Gfroerer and Dr. Jane Nelsen Greeting students personally creates an immediate connection with each student. greetings-teacher-cartoon.jpg A teacher’s morning greeting can make a big difference in how their students approach the entire school day. Rudolf Dreikurs encouraged teachers not to miss this opportunity to connect with students as they enter […]
Divorce
An Excerpt from Positive Discipline A-Z, by Jane Nelsen, Lynn Lott, and H. Stephen Glenn divorce.jpg Question “I want to get a divorce, but I’m so afraid it will hurt my children. Should I stay in my marriage for the sake of the children?” Answer Understanding Your Child, Yourself, and the Situation Many circumstances in […]
CURIOSITY QUESTIONS
by Dr. Jane Nelsen curiosity-questions-motivational-parents.jpg Helping children explore the consequences of their choices is much different from imposing consequences on them. Exploring invites the participation of children to think for themselves and figure out the consequences of their choice, to decide what is important to them, and how to achieve what they want. The end […]
Positive Time-Out
by Dr. Jane Nelsen positive-time-out-parents.jpg Imagine you are an employee who has made a mistake, and your boss comes to you and says, “You go to time-out and think about what you have done. And don’t come out until I say you can.” Or, if you are married, imagine your spouse coming to you and […]
Positive Discipline and the Wheel of Choice
Create a Wheel of Choice with your Students. You might want to use the Wheel of Choice a Problem-Solving E-Book that includes 14 lessons to teach students the skills for using a Wheel of Choice. Wheel of Choice Success Story Dear Dr. Jane Nelsen, Early in the school year my first grade students […]
Avoid Rewards in the Classroom
rewards-teachers-cartoon.jpg by Dr. Jane Nelsen and Dr. Kelly Gfroerer While rewards may be a quick way to motivate students, it is important to stop and think, “What are students learning when they receive rewards?” Research has shown that rewards are not effective long-term and in fact can be harmful to students. The rewards become more important […]