Allowance

Positive Discipline Question

Allowance

Question:

I'm wondering how you feel about allowance? Also, I'd like to know how to deal with my children when they want so much for Christmas and I can't afford it. They see some of their friends and relatives getting whatever they want.

Answer:

We thoroughly cover allowances in our book"Positive Discipline A-Z,"as well as in our other books. Briefly, I think children should get an allowance (the amount depends upon the family budget) and that it SHOULD NOT be related to chores. Every family member does chores because they are part of the family, and they all get an allowance for the same reason.

Regarding your children wanting more than you can afford, don't you also want more than you can afford? There is nothing wrong with wanting. What would be wrong is for you to try to give them more than you can afford or to feel guilty that you can't give them everything. See it as a blessing that they can't be so materialistic and fall into the trap of TV advertising. Sympathize with their feelings, and then work with them on a plan to make Christmas enjoyable within your budget. We discuss this materialistic attitude in our book Raising Self-Reliant Children in a Self-Indulgent World. When your children complain about not getting more, use active listening: "Yes, it is disappointing, isn't it?" If you leave it at that, children usually get over their disappointment more quickly than if parents feed the sparks by lectures or guilt so that it becomes a full-fledged bonfire.

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PD A-Z

by
Jane Ed.D. Nelsen, Lynn Lott, and H. Stephen Glenn

Positive Discipline A-Z

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As a parent, you face one of the most challenging—and rewarding—roles of your life. No matter how much you love your child, there will still be moments filled with anger, frustration, and, at times, desperation. What do you do? Over the years, millions of parents just like you have come to trust the Positive Discipline series for its consistent, commonsense approach to child rearing. In this completely updated edition of Positive Discipline A–Z, you will learn how to use methods to raise a child who is responsible, respectful, and resourceful. You’ll find practical solutions to such parenting challenges as:

• Sibling Rivalry
• Bedtime Hassles
• School Problems
• Getting Chores Done
• ADHD
• Eating Problems
• Procrastination
• Whining
• Tattling and Lying
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