My 2 year old is having a really hard time separating from me. She screams and cries when I leave her at the nursery at church and at my workout gym. She also has a new sister (6 months old now). Is this just another phase? What can I do to help her adjust? Also, I am up and down a lot at our meals caring for her and her sister. Sometimes she starts throwing her food when she is finished and I am not around. Is this just an attention getter and how can I get her to stop? I am still in the process of reading " Positive Discipline." I hope I am not missing this advice there.

Did you read the chapter on birth order? I'm sure your daughter is feeling dethroned by her new sister. Separation anxiety is very normal at this age--especially when a new baby is in the picture. Try getting into her world. How would you feel if you were left--especially if your mother took your baby sister with her after leaving you? What would you want?

I know you need time to yourself, but don't expect your child to like it. She may have to deal with it, but don't expect her to act like an adult. She will act like a dethroned two-year-old.

Regarding food throwing, I don't know if it is for attention. It could be that she is simply finished eating, and throwing food is an interesting experiment. I think you would enjoy reading "Positive Discipline for Preschoolers" (when you finish "Positive Discipline") where we cover so much on developmental issues. I don't think you can get her to stop until she is older. This is a case where you need to decide what you will do instead of what you will try to make her do. I have several suggestions: Don't leave her at the table longer than the time it takes her to eat. Put a drop cloth under her high chair. Serve foods that are easy to clean up.

Children at this age need supervision. We are expecting too much when we expect a two-year-old to have self-control.

One more thing you can do. Enjoy. This age does not last long.

Jane Nelsen