Dear Dr. Nelsen,

Q.I'm having trouble balancing my desire for my son (6 years old) to eat a variety of foods, with his desire to eat only cereal or pizza at dinnertime. Dinner is becoming a big time for power struggles. On one hand, I would like him to expand his tastes; on the other hand, the main idea for eating is to nourish his body so it shouldn't matter too much as long as what he eats is healthy. When he eats a healthy cereal at dinner time, he will also eat an apple or some carrots. Do you have any ideas on how to encourage new foods without creating the struggle?

A.I suggest you forget about trying to get him to expand his tastes. The more you get involved in trying to control what he eats, the more you may invite resistance. The main thing I suggest is to not bring unhealthy foods into the house. If you don't want him to eat pizza, don't buy it. (Is there really such a thing as a healthy cereal--unless you are talking about oatmeal?)

In the book, "Positive Discipline," I suggest getting kids involved in planning meals, shopping, and cooking. There is a form to be filled out each week at a family meeting where each member of the family can choose what they want to eat and cook for dinner. When kids are involved in this process, it seems to invite more cooperation. There is a feeling of, "We'll eat what you like sometimes, and you can eat what we like sometimes." However, I remember having a very limited variety when my kids were small. They are not interested in "expanding their tastes."

Another book I think you would enjoy is" Positive Discipline A-Z".This book includes more than 1001 suggestions for just about any problem you can think of--including mealtime hassles. It is fun to read the suggestions WITH kids and get their input on what would work best--or to use the suggestions as a starting place to brainstorm for new ideas.

 Happy eating,

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