Lately my son has taken to not responding at all when asked a question. An example would be this "Mark, would you like a bowl of cereal for breakfast?" No response. "Mark? I asked you a question." No response. So I will say "I'm thinking if you aren't answering you're probably not hungry right now." As soon as I engage in my next activity no matter what it is he'll then come up to me and say "Mom, I'm hungry and I want a bowl of cereal." By then I am irritated that he did not answer me and I don't feel I should get him the cereal. Another thing he does is not answer if I give him two choices "Chocolate milk or juice?" I'll usually put one out in case he does get thirsty later but OF COURSE it's never the one he wants! It can be very frustrating especially for my husband who sees this as rude and disrepectful behavior. Help!

Noelyn

Dear Noelyn,

If I was involved in this behavior with my child, I would probably be annoyed too. However, since I'm not hooked into the power struggle as you are, it seems quite comical to me. What do you think would happen if you saw it as comical? I suggest you try some humor when he doesn't answer. Start wiggling your fingers in front of you and go after him saying, "Here comes the tickle monster to tickle little boys that don't answer their mother."

Another possibility is to quit talking to him. Start using sign language or charades and/or hugs. That might distract him from his power play. Remember, it takes two to have a power struggle. If you stop biting, there won't be any payoff for him to keep trying to hook you. It might help for you to remember that he won't be doing this by the time he goes to college -- unless you give him reason to by insisting on winning the power plays. Jane Nelsen

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