Questions for Parents and Teachers on the Topic of Discipline

1. What is your definition of discipline?2. Are punishment and discipline the same?3. Can discipline be non-punitive?4. What is the difference between punitive time-out and positive time-out?5. Is time-out more effective when it is punitive or when it is empowering?6. What is your favorite form of discipline?7. Does your favorite form of discipline make your child "pay" for the past, or empower him or her to learn and change for the future?7. Do you believe in spanking?8. Would you prefer not to spank if you knew other methods that helped children learn self-discipline, responsibility, cooperation and problem-solving skills?9. What are the long-range results of punishment?10. While being punished, what are children thinking, feeling, and deciding about themselves and about what to do in the future.11. Does punishment foster an internal locus of control or an external locus of control.12. Do children learn best when they are experiencing blame, shame, and pain or when they feel empowered?

As you can see, my questions follow my bias of believing that punishment is never effective for positive long-range results.You'll notice I didn't say punishment doesn't work.Usually, it does work to stop the behavior immediately.However, we must "beware of what works" when the long-range results are detrimental. Discipline comes from the latin word "disciplini" which means "a follower of truth, principle, or a venerated leader." Punishment does not motivate children to integrate truth and principle.Punishment motivates children to become defensive, to hide their mistakes, to become rebellious or to become approval junkies, to stop taking risks, and to develop low self-esteem.For this reason all of our books teach parents and teachers non-punitive methods to help children change behavior.These methods also help children learn important life skills such as problem-solving.

Regards
Jane Nelsen