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Mourning
I have a new 3- year- old problem, and it has little to do with behavior problems this time.My childgoes to preschool 3 days/week while I work - he's gone there since Sept '94.A little girl started the same time he did; they're 10 days apart.They became inseparable friends in February.Last week she changed which aunt she was living with, and now no longer goes to the preschool. My son is very distraught, and no longer wants to go to preschool.He has other kids there he likes, but none like her. I tried to tell him she moved, and I was sorry she'd no longer be at school, but that didn't comfort him.Is there anything I can do in this time of 'mourning' to ease his pain?
A.There are some things you can do to help, but the main
thing is to realize that children cannot and should not be protected from all pain.Lectures don't help, but you could encourage him to express his feelings and/or paraphrase his feeling back to him.You could see if you can find her new address and ask him if he wants to draw a picture for her and mail it to her.You could share stories about times you have experienced sadness and disappointment.Don't try to talk him out of his feelings or tell him he will feel better soon.He will, but let him experience that himself with time.Just keep doing what you are doing, and know that it does take time.You need encouragement as much as he does.Jane Nelsen
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