A Tribute to Many Uncrowned Kings
and Queens
by Daniel Eckstein, Ph.D.,
from his book,
The Encouragement Process in Life-Span Development "in
Positive Discipline: Teacher's A-Z Guide."
It was the spring of 1962. I was in the seventh grade at
Johnnycake Junior High School in Baltimore, Maryland,
section "7B" to be precise. In earlier years, the
distinction between classes had been the "redbirds" and
the "bluebirds," in a vain attempt to avoid labeling one
class the smart one and the other class (mine) the
"dummy" group. But we all knew who was who relative to
the hierarchy of redbirds and bluebirds. So in seventh
grade the pretense was dropped in favor of "7A" and
"7B."
All my neighborhood friends were in the coveted "A"
class. As for me, I was majoring in playground. I was also an
"honor" student...as in "yes, your honor; no, your
honor, I won't do that anymore, your honor."
I was a classic left-handed, dyslexic, hyperactive boy who
consistently received "unsatisfactory" conduct scores.
Classes were much too long, the desks far too small, and the outdoor
activities way too short.
The teacher for both "7A" and "7B" was
like a great redwood tree to me, a colossal giant who, at 6 feet
2 inches tall, seemed twice as awesome from my diminished vantage
point. "Mr. King" was the well-named title of our teacher.
He was kind, knowledgeable, and much revered by both sections
"A" and "B," a rare feat in and of itself
for any teacher.
One day, quite unexpectedly, Mr. King approached my "7A"
friends and observed that... "There is someone in '7B' who
is just as smart as any of you; trouble is, he just doesn't know
it yet. I won't tell you his name, but I'll give you a hint he's
the kid who out-runs all of you and knocks that ball over the
right field fence."
Word of Mr. King's declaration reached me that afternoon as
we boarded the school bus. I remember a dazed, numb, shocked feeling
of disbelief. "Yeah sure, you've got to be kidding,"
I nonchalantly replied to my friends; but on a deeper, more subtle
level, I remember the warm glow that came from the tiny flicker
of a candle that had been ignited within my soul.
Two weeks later, it was time for the dreaded book reports in
front of the class. It was bad enough to turn in papers that only
Mr. King read and graded. Alas, there was no place to hide when
it came to oral book reports!
When my turn came, I solemnly stood before my classmates. I
began slowly and awkwardly to speak about James Fennimore Cooper's
epic book, The Pathfinder. As I spoke, the images of canoes on
the western frontier of 18th century America collided with lush
descriptions of the forest and Native Americans who glided noiselessly
over lakes and streams. No Fourth of July fireworks has ever surpassed
the explosion that took place inside my head that day, it was
electrifying.
Excitedly, I began trying to share my experience with my classmates.
But just as I began a sentence to tell about the canoes, another
scene of the land collided with the Native Americans. I was only
midway through one sentence before I jumped to another. I was
becoming "hyper" in my joy, and my incomplete sentences
made no sense at all. The laughter of my classmates at my "craziness"
quickly shattered my inner fireworks. I felt embarrassed and humiliated.
I wanted so badly to either beat up my tormentors or run home
and cry in my mother's arms...but long ago I had learned how to
mask those feelings...so, trying my best to become invisible and
disappear, I started to return to my desk.
The laughter ceased at the sound of Mr. King's deep, compassionate
voice... "You know, Danny," he reigned forth... "you
have a unique gift, that of having the ability to speak outwardly
and to think inwardly at the same time. But sometimes your mind
is filled with so much joy that your words just can't keep up
with it. Your excitement is contagious; it's a wonderful gift
that I hope you can put to good use someday." There was a
pause that seemed to linger forever as I stood stunned by Mr.
King's words once more...and then it began...clapping and congratulatory
cheers from my classmates as a miracle of transformation occurred
within me on that 7th grade day.*
Thirty years later, I take my turn to say "thank you"
to all the nameless Mr. and Ms. Kings who are the teachers of
our young people. I now have fancy sounding names like "encouragement"
or "turning a perceived minus' into a plus'" to describe
how Mr. King helped me to reframe my life forever. Though often
underpaid and faced with far too many students and too little
resources, I salute all our teachers by acknowledging that in
many subtle ways they DO make a difference!
*Dr. Eckstein is now a college instructor, a seminar leader,
and the author of seven books.
Past Articles
Positive Discipline
by Dr. Jane Nelsen
For twenty-five years, Positive Discipline has been the gold standard
reference for grown-ups working with children. Now Jane Nelsen, distinguished
psychologist, educator, and mother of seven, has written a revised and
expanded edition. The key to positive discipline is not punishment, she tells
us, but mutual respect.
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