Building Community

By Mike Brock

 
No Longer Weeds

Beauty, we have heard so many times, lies in the eye of the beholder. Common though the expression may be, the truth behind it is profound. It is so much deeper than the relativism of different tastes or different strokes or "whatever turns you on," which some might assume to be the message of the aphorism.

To say that beauty lies in the eye of the beholder is to recognize the co-creational aspect of our relationship with the world. It is to recognize that in observing the world, we make the world to be in this way or that. More to the point, it is to recognize that to observe the world and proclaim it beautiful is to participate in its creation as beautiful. Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder. It is the beholder who attributes meaning to the world, who confers beauty, who co-creates the world as beautiful.

There's a story about a little girl named Jessica who lives with her grandmother. It is Grandma's birthday and Jessica has nothing to give her, but on the way home from school she spots some dandelions in a field and decides to pick a bunch. She sneaks them into the house when her grandmother isn't looking, finds an old vase, fills it with water, arranges the dandelions as best she can, and, beaming with pride, presents them: "Grandma, I picked these flowers for you.

Happy birthday!" Grandma, not anticipating the gift and taken a bit off guard, sees a vase filled with weeds and exclaims: "Well thank you, Jessica, but these aren't flowers. These are weeds." And little Jessica replies: "But if you love them, Grandma, they are no longer weeds."

Sometimes it all comes down to that simple truth: If you love them, they are no longer weeds. What is a weed but nothing more than our attribution of that word upon a living thing? Weeds—and, for that matter, flowers—are in the eye of the beholder. Little Jessica knows, in the simple wisdom of a child, that if love can move mountains it can certainly turn weeds into flowers.

It is true of weeds and flowers, but it is truer still in our interpersonal relationships. It may even be the key to building positive, supportive, and encouraging relationships: If you love them, they are no longer weeds.

 

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by Jane Nelsen Ed.D., Cheryl Erwin, M.A., Michael L. Brock and Mary L. Hughes, M.H.R.		Positive Discipline in the Christian Home
		Retail Price: $18.95 Sale Price: $16.95 "Train a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not turn from it." -- Proverbs 22:6. As Christian parents, you know you need to train your child, yet you probably wonder just how you can accomplish the fulfillment of this Scripture. What kind of parenting ensures that your child will become a responsible, capable adult who can choose to love and follow God for life? Positive Discipline in the Christian Home clarifies how the Bible and the time-proven skills of Positive Discipline can work together. Using stories and passages from the Bible as well as real-life stories from families using these principles, this nondenominational book will show you how to: Teach your children life skills and values Set appropriate boundaries with your children Understand and respond to misbehavior with loving guidance Follow through with kindness and firmness And much more!