Building Community
Michael L. Brock

Summer 2001

No Longer Weeds

Beauty, we have heard so many times, lies in the eye of the beholder. Common though the expression may be, the truth behind it is profound. It is so much deeper than the relativism of different tastes or different strokes or "whatever turns you on," which some might assume to be the message of the aphorism.

To say that beauty lies in the eye of the beholder is to recognize the co-creational aspect of our relationship with the world. It is to recognize that in observing the world, we make the world to be in this way or that. More to the point, it is to recognize that to observe the world and proclaim it beautiful is to participate in its creation as beautiful. Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder. It is the beholder who attributes meaning to the world, who confers beauty, who co-creates the world as beautiful.

There's a story about a little girl named Jessica who lives with her grandmother. It is Grandma's birthday and Jessica has nothing to give her, but on the way home from school she spots some dandelions in a field and decides to pick a bunch. She sneaks them into the house when her grandmother isn't looking, finds an old vase, fills it with water, arranges the dandelions as best she can, and, beaming with pride, presents them: "Grandma, I picked these flowers for you.

Happy birthday!"  Grandma, not anticipating the gift and taken a bit off guard, sees a vase filled with weeds and exclaims: "Well thank you, Jessica, but these aren't flowers. These are weeds." And little Jessica replies: "But if you love them, Grandma, they are no longer weeds."

Sometimes it all comes down to that simple truth: If you love them, they are no longer weeds.  What is a weed but nothing more than our attribution of that word upon a living thing? Weeds—and, for that matter, flowers—are in the eye of the beholder. Little Jessica knows, in the simple wisdom of a child, that if love can move mountains it can certainly turn weeds into flowers.

It is true of weeds and flowers, but it is truer still in our interpersonal relationships. It may even be the key to building positive, supportive, and encouraging relationships: If you love them, they are no longer weeds.

Mike's Workshops and Presentations

Educational Leadership and the New Science (based on Margaret Wheatley's Leadership and the New Science)

School-Smart Parenting: Raising Children for Success and Happiness in School

Parenting for the School Years

Five Forbidden Phrases

Self-Esteem Revisited

Three Keys to Building Community

Positive Discipline in the Classroom

Getting to Know Your Personality- at Home and on the Job

Couples Attract (Even When They Clash!)

The Power of Positive Parenting

Mike Brock is the author of School-Smart Parenting and co-author, with H. Stephen Glenn, of 7 Strategies for Developing Capable Students.  For information on workshops, seminars, and presentations, call Mike at 972-243-7105, ext. 13, or email at mlbrock@gte.net.